Happy Blogging Birthday To Me!

My Journey of A Spirited Strider is 1 year old today! I don’t know about you, but I’ve always enjoyed birthday parties! In honor of an incredible year, I’m going to eat some cake. Won’t you join me?

Money,Money, Money, A Back-Up Plan and Hairy Legs!

(This is my blog post for today as part of Bob Doyle’s 45 Boundless Living Challenge on Ning. This is in response to listening and tapping on one of his free teleseminars with Carol Look made available to participants in the challenge. EFT (also known as tapping) can be very powerful! As I am trying to establish a daily habit of tapping, I’m finding that lots of issues are coming up for me. It’s liberating when they are cleared!)

What do money, money, money, a back up plan and hairy legs all have in common you may ask? The answer is me!

As I was tapping and listening to the taped teleseminar last night with Carol Look and Bob Doyle as part of this wonderful Boundless Living Challenge, all of these topics came up for me.

I re-affirmed that I was given lots of messages about money growing up that don’t serve me well now. Messages like:

Money doesn’t grow on trees,
You have to work hard for your money.
Lucky people win the lottery and don’t have to struggle.
The way to success is to start at the bottom and work your way up. People who do it differently cheat.
If I don’t work hard, then I don’t deserve success.
Life isn’t fair. Some people have everything handed to them. Not me.
Some people are so lucky–they are at the right place at the right time. Not me.
My parents always fought about money, so money must be bad.
It is greedy to want a lot of money and that’s bad, so I have to be a good person and not be greedy or I’ll go to hell.
Money is the root of all evil.
Yet if I could only have a lot of money, then I would be happy.
But money doesn’t buy happiness.
Some women marry for money and that is a terrible.
Even if I have the breaks in life, I can never make as much money as a man. It’s a rich man’s world.

Abba, anyone?

But I digress…. I’m always doing that with music….Speaking of music, did I mention that I always wanted to be a famous singer (and actress) while growing up? That way, I could make a lot of money and be happy! Shirley Temple was my idol as a young child and I used to spend hours watching old reruns of her movies on tv and singing and dancing to the only record I had of hers….

Lollipop, anyone?

And the messages I got from sharing my dreams were more of an energy response, in the form of non-verbal cues and statements and questions that people would ask me. The vibrations went like this:

Aw, isn’t that cute? (You are a dreamer and have no idea of how hard it is to make it.)
So you want to study music and be a teacher!
No one ever makes it as a singer, except the lucky ones or the extremely talented ones. I’m not good enough.
You’re a star here in this small town but life is tough in the big city. There are plenty of people just as good and better than you.
No one takes me seriously.
No one believes that I can make it.
I will show them.
But then again, how will I support myself.
You want to study music to be a singer?
You have to have a back-up plan!
It’s a good idea to have a back-up plan and get that teaching certificate.
You’d be foolish not to get a teaching certificate as a back-up plan.

Why do I keep putting the dream of becoming an actress in parenthesis here, you may ask? Although I was a great singer and had a lot of talent, I got so tired of hearing about back-up plans that I stopped sharing my dreams so openly to people. I didn’t feel as confident in my acting abilities, so I kept that dream tucked away inside myself even more. That is why I keep putting the actress part in parenthesis here, too.

It didn’t help matters much with my dream of being a famous singer (and actress) that I was also very self-conscious about my appearance. While you wouldn’t know it now, I used to be the tallest person in my entire class (from the boys and girls) until about the age of 13. I developed early as well. I looked about 4 years older than I actually was. (Now there are stories I could tell about that, but that’s for another time!)

Tapping last night brought up this particular memory:

When I was around 12, one of my childhood male classmates said real loud to me one day, in front of lots and lots of my other classmates, “Geez, look at those hairy legs! Haven’t you heard of something called a razor?”

I was blonde so the hair wasn’t really that noticeable (but he obviously had been looking at my legs in order to see all that hair) but I was devastated, embarrassed, ashamed, and felt ugly. I went home to my mother that night and begged her to let me shave. (She previously had forbidden me to try it because she said that the hair grew back darker, that I’d be into a routine for the rest of my life, that I had to be really careful not to cut myself, etc. etc. etc.)
After buckets of tears and pulling at her heart strings, she gave me my first razor, paving the road to my endless quest to beautify my life as a young woman and be pretty and accepted. (I cut myself more than once that night, too.) The messages from that incident went like this:

Hairy legs are ugly. I am ugly.
It’s embarrassing to have hairy legs.
Why am I so different?
No one else has their period, hairy legs and is tall like me.
I am strange.
I’m afraid of being teased about my hairy legs.
I want to be accepted.
It is bad to be different.
I want to fit in.
I wish I could be like….(insert any of my friend’s names here)
I will feel better if I shave those hairy legs.
I will be accepted if I shave those hairy legs.
People will love me if I’m pretty.
I will be pretty if I shave those hairy legs of mine.
I will be loved if I don’t have hairy legs.

Amazing what comes up with tapping, isn’t it? Powerful stuff indeed! Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a book to finish!
Until next time…

My Evolving Challenge is Full of Surprises: Photography?

(Another one of my posts from the 45 Day Boundless Living Challenge)

To be quite honest, I’ve lost track of what day of the 45 day challenge this is and all I know is that it ends September 4th! My original challenge was to write a book in 45 days. Now I didn’t specify what kind of book, but I left the possibilities open to any inspired idea that would get my attention. My first surprise was that I decided to use an adaptation of an article I wrote last year and develop it. That quickly turned into the idea of creating an e-book (which I’ve been saying for a year that I needed to write!). My intention is to give it out for free.

The next surprise was that I had this inspiration to put some visuals with the words and decided to create the visuals myself! After searching around for “free” photography, artwork, and images on the web that I could use without getting into copyright trouble, I just decided to grab one of my cameras and shoot the pictures myself! That way, there will be no question that the book is entirely mine.

I’m no professional photographer, but I have always loved photography and taking pictures. I find that I’m often inspired by art and by beautiful images of nature, and particular flowers, but not necessarily just flowers. What I love are colorful images, shining, bright images, abstract art, and photos of space, to name a few. I love to garden and actually have a small one this year here in New York, so I shot some images of some of my vegetables, too.

So I’ve spent the last few days trying to catch some images with my very simple digital camera. I just learned that I had a digital macro function on my camera so I took some shots today that I might use. I also have an old, old Pentax manual camera with a zoom lens that still works and I may just shoot a few things to see how those look, too. Lately, I had been thinking about buying a more expensive digital camera (a Nikon) to just play around with. Now I’m feeling that buying that Nikon will happen sooner rather than later.

Who knows what other surprises in the form of inspired action there are in store for me? I don’t know but I’m really looking forward to seeing what I create next! And my tapping is having great results! Here’s a peek of what I did today. (Anyone want fresh, organic, safe tomatoes on their salad?)