Do you talk to yourself? While some people may be afraid to admit talking to themselves out of fear that they will be labeled as psychologically unstable, the truth is that we all do it. Most of us do it regularly, on a daily basis. Our conversations don’t have to be verbalized out loud; we all think thoughts everyday as we go about our everyday lives. Many times, these thoughts are directed at ourselves.
When you talk to yourself (either out loud or in your inner thoughts), are you using kind, appreciative, caring words of love? Or do you often criticize, scold, or get angry with yourself?
Too often we are hard on ourselves because we are trying to live up to some idea of “perfection” we have about ourselves. Often we are trying to live up to a standard that society projects through the media, or to a standard that we’ve put on ourselves because we feel we have a deficiency in some area.
Women, in particular, tend to be particularly hard on themselves when it comes to their perception of their bodies and their roles in life. Are you trying to have the perfect face, the perfect waist, the perfect legs, the perfect stomach, the perfect weight, the perfect size, the perfect nose, ears, skin, hair, ankles, toes, heels, elbows, ears, eyebrows, or lips? Or perhaps you are trying to be the perfect mom, the perfect child, the perfect sibling, the perfect spouse, the perfect cook, the perfect homemaker, the perfect employee, or the perfect boss?
In trying to be perfect, we set ourselves up for negative self-talk when we don’t reach that goal that we’ve set for ourselves or if we are not reaching it in the perfect amount of time we’ve told ourselves we had to reach it. This places a lot of pressure and stress on ourselves and then we beat ourselves up when we fail to reach that perfect place or get the result we want. This leads to disappointment, negativity, frustration, anger and a whole lot of pain as a result. This is bad for our souls and our overall health. According to many medical experts, stress a major cause of sickness. By being too hard on ourselves, criticizing, getting angry, frustrated, scolding, or disgusted or disappointed with ourselves, we are causing unnecessary stress that can lead to a myriad of health problems in the long run.
So it stands to reason that if we are gentle, kind, caring, grateful, and loving to ourselves, we can heal the past wounds and pain in our souls and set ourselves up for a overall better health-both physically and mentally.
So, the next time you catch yourself talking to yourself, pay attention to what words you are saying. Stand in front of the mirror and say nice things to you! Find something to focus on that you like about yourself and smile! You may even catch yourself laughing when you do this. As you do so, you will find yourself appreciating the positive aspects of you, and less focus and attention will be directed toward your “imperfections.” You will be happier in the long run and healthier, too.
When you begin to practice being kind to yourself by saying nice things to yourself, you will feel good. When you feel good, more things and people and circumstances will come along to make you feel good. So it’s perfectly fine to talk to yourself if you feel good while doing it! And I’d say that feeling good is the perfect place to be!