Making Room for Abundance: Clearing Clutter

For some time now, I have been on a de-cluttering mission. It is part of my personal self-development and my expansion as a creative soul.  I’ve studied the psychology of it and started a private Facebook group about it.  As you can see from this blog and my website, I also came cross a wonderful coach, Sue Rasmussen, and she has really made a difference in my life. (You can learn more about Sue by looking at the “Clearing Clutter” tab at the top of this blog.)

Sue has a monthly “Clear Out” day as part of her Streamline Your Success program. My work schedule rarely allows me time to participate “live,” but I do get the recordings to listen to later and do at my own pace.  So this weekend, I worked on the call from October (now THAT’s a sign I have too much “time clutter!”) October’s focus was on the bathroom, linen closet, master bedroom and guest room.

I knew going into it that I wouldn’t get to the second bedroom, or finish the master bedroom either and that was fine with me. I just needed to get started and I did make significant progress. My energy feels so much lighter now that my bathroom and linen closet have a lot of extra space. I threw away things that absolutely didn’t delight me: expired over-the-counter items were especially pleasing to get rid of. People who know me, know that I rarely use the items anyway.

I’ve now got a basket full of toiletries to give away to people at work. I started that practice a couple of years ago, where I bring in things and quietly put them in a basket on the window sill of the women’s bathroom. People clear that out in a heartbeat!

I’ve also some things packed up to give to charity. With a pick-up scheduled in a few weeks, it will give me a chance to go through more things between now and then.  Although Sue recommends you take the items to your car or to the charity right away on a “Clear Out Day,”  it feels ok with me to take it out of the bedroom and set it out of the way until pick-up day.

“Tolerations” are things you put up with, but that drain your energy. In physical terms, they could be seemingly little things, but that have a huge effect on your psyche. (Examples: missing buttons, lightbulb burnt out, broken items you’ve been meaning to repair, etc.) The things in that charity donation bag were “tolerations” to a certain extent: I had been meaning to either sell them or donate them, but they hung around for months because I never “got around to it.” Knowing that they’re now temporarily occupying another space until a specific date doesn’t feel like a “toleration.” Had I not had the opportunity to live in a place where some charities come to your home for pick-up items, it would turn into a “toleration” as I’d probably never “get around to it.”

With all that clearing of space, my energy is feeling wonderful and open to new possibilities. I’m excited for the changes that are coming and particularly as it relates to my bedroom space.  Perhaps the biggest clearing path for abundant blessings I cleared was my broken bed. I’ve been putting off dealing with it, as I have other places to sleep, but this broken bed had become a HUGE “toleration” for me. And I believe I got to the point with myself where I’d had enough of putting up with it!

You could say I got fed up with it! So yes, I decided this week that I wanted my bedroom back! First, I worked on fixing the bed frame, only to discover that it broke again as soon as I laid down on it! So I dis-assembled the thing and took it to the garbage, while ordering another frame online. It should come this week and I can’t wait to have my bedroom back!

After going through all of these emotions and feelings with the energy that I allowed to leave my home and the new spacious energy that replaced it, I find it interesting that my bedroom was an area where I had a huge toleration going on, given my recent relationship challenges. I know that by clearing the physical clutter and this toleration I am really paying more attention to my own self-care. And in doing so, I’m loving myself and that only means one thing: I attract more love to me!

Appreciating Contrast: Results from My Facebook Poll

Last month, I asked a “Question” on Facebook designed for deliberate creators. The question was this:

“The fastest way to get what we want is to appreciate where we are right now. What contrast (something you don’t want) is the most challenging for you to appreciate?”

The choices were: 


World Events
Health
Money
Relationships
Other


I was surprised by the “results.” Granted, only a dozen people answered my question but the responses are quite revealing: HALF of the responses said that WORLD EVENTS were the most challenging “contrast,” with HEALTH and MONEY tied with 1/4 each of the votes and RELATIONSHIPS with ZERO (0) votes! 


I personally checked HEALTH because I find it to be the most challenging for me to divert my attention from when I’m sick or my body aches. If what I hear from people or read out there is any indication of how people feel,  I was surprised that RELATIONSHIPS didn’t score any votes. MONEY is often a very common one, and I did expect that to have more votes. Of course, one could argue that what I’m “seeing” out there is a reflection of what I’m attracting, so I’m not going to elaborate on that.


Still, WORLD EVENTS coming in as the #1 most challenging? The good news is that’s easy to shift to a better feeling place.  I personally read internet stories where GOOD NEWS is reported. It helps to put a perspective on what’s really going on around the world, as opposed to the overwhelming majority of negative coverage we see, read and hear everyday in the mass media. 


Natural disasters happen and it seems like wars are always going on somewhere,  but letting that determine whether I have a good day or a challenging day is not my cup of tea!  Perhaps people are telling the story of “The economy is bad,” too. I watch that coverage from an “observer’s” point of view- IF I watch it at all!  If it doesn’t feel good, I don’t watch or tune in.  It’s all speculation and I’d rather speculate that things are improving, that there are many people thriving, that we’ve gotten out of situations like this before and we’ll do it again!


In fact, I’d suggest that people who are bothered by the contrast of world events  turn off the TV and focus on something that feels better! And if sending in your donation to provide relief for someone who is less fortunate than you feels good, be appreciative that you are feeling good, celebrate the abundance in your life that makes your donation possible and send it in! Don’t dwell on the “details” of how bad it must be for the victims. No amount of you feeling bad will improve the situation for them. In fact, law of attraction will bring more “feeling bad” to YOU if you focus too long on that! 


Unless you’re right smack in the middle of some awful world event, or you have a loved one who is, it seems to me that “World Events’ contrast” is the easiest “contrast” for deliberate creators to control. You’re not personally living it now, and you can control how much attention you give it by flipping the channel, turning off the set, and focusing on something that feels good instead.


While it doesn’t matter what I think or feel about this, I would be interested in hearing your comments. If you didn’t vote before in my “poll,” feel free to add your comment here (or) go to my Facebook page and vote. My Facebook Page  You can find the “poll” on the left by clicking on “Questions.”


Irregardless of which contrast is the most “challenging” for us individually, we all know that appreciating the contrast is a useful tool in deliberate creation. So why not appreciate that we have so many types of contrast in our lives which allow us to fine-tune our desires and expand in beautiful, exciting ways? 


Remember: With contrast comes expansion and often it takes a very creative form in our manifestations that we never before dreamed possible: if we allow it, that is.  So pay attention to your contrast and if it’s bringing you down because you’ve got the whole world on your shoulders, take that globe off! See if you can find ways to shift how you’re feeling about it by choosing something different. It may be as easy as changing the channel on the remote! 

When Things Suck: A Glimpse Into “Allowing” A Break-Up

I know we’ve all had times in our lives when we feel as if things “suck.” I’m actually going through that now as it pertains to my relationship with someone I love very much. We have apparently broken up. I say “apparently,” because I’m still feeling shocked by it all and in disbelief. We had a great relationship. We always had so much fun! We loved each other passionately, joyfully, playfully and the feelings were alive. We could be who we are, without judgment, and allow each other the freedom to be ourselves and love, play, laugh and live life well! That was how I felt about “us.” This is how God (or Source) sees each and everyone of us everyday. 

Yet we’re human, and neither of us is seeing each other as God would see us right now and I’m certainly not seeing myself as Source sees me. When things don’t go the way we want them to in a relationship, (which recently happened in our case), it’s easy to place blame, point fingers at the other person, throw out accusations about how the other person didn’t act the way you wanted them to act, and judge. We judge our partner and each other. We judge ourselves. That is not a loving place to be in, yet why do we continually do this to ourselves? Why do we set ourselves up for disappointment by making what our partner does or doesn’t do, says or doesn’t say, the object of our happiness?– Can someone say “attachment” anyone?

We set ourselves up for disappointment by buying into that “ideal relationship” that many parts of society paint (or at least the part of our head or heart that imagines the ‘ideal’ relationship) and what happens? –The other person always disappoints. They disappoint because we can’t control other people: we can only control ourselves. They disappoint because we are different individuals who see and feel things in our own unique ways.

No one person is like you in every way! If I were involved with a guy who was exactly the same as me, I’d probably get bored really fast! So why would I expect someone else to act, be and approach the world in the same way as me? I don’t. Yet, in relationships with a partner, we often do expect the other person to react the same as we would!

Differences can be a good thing: they keep us growing, expanding and exploring this beautiful world in which we live. So if you’re complaining that your partner doesn’t see things your way, be glad that you’ve got someone in your life who contributes to your personal growth expansion by providing you with another point of view! I’m very appreciative of this man in my life:  he has enriched my life in so many ways, and often because of our differences.

Yet appreciating those differences can be a challenge during a “break-up,” “a fight” or otherwise while not understanding each other so well. It’s the differences in how we react to day-to-day things that often start disagreements and arguments in relationships. When that happens, things can really suck! We can spiral into a series of accusations, judgments, arguments and may use hurtful words. Then we run off to talk to our best friend and re-tell the story, over and over again, igniting the fire of the hurt, blame, judgment and sadness feelings even more. Now we’re really on a downward spiral, because we keep telling the story over and over again. And if you’re not one to talk to others, you probably have re-told the story over and over again in your mind, so your heart definitely feels it.

I’m reminded now of my all-time favorite quote from Abraham-Hicks: “My happiness depends upon me, so you’re off the hook!” I love that quote and I know in my soul that it’s true. I am in charge of my own happiness. I get to choose. I choose to appreciate this contrast (the break-up that I don’t want) and use this situation to align with my inner being and have the best year yet!

Yet right now, my relationship with the one that I love very much sucks. Yes, it sucks! It sucks because I disappointed him, and then he disappointed me and now it apparently is over.  You see? We both bought into that “You have to do ________(Fill in the blanks) to make me happy” mentality. In fact, because I didn’t do ________, he wasn’t happy with me and because he didn’t respond to me like __________, after I explained why I didn’t do _________ when he wanted me to ________,  I wasn’t happy with him.

See how ridiculously funny this is? Haha! Seeing it as a “fill in the blank” exercise illustrates just how silly we are to think we can control someone else. I can laugh about this but the truth is I miss him. I miss him because in our relationship, the love that flowed brought out the best in me: fun, caring, kind, loving, passionate, silly, playful, engaging, creative, inspiring, present and connected. That is worth appreciating.

Yet I’m not feeling that way about me right now. Can someone say “attachment” again, please? I have to “allow” me to be ME: all those qualities that our love brought up in ME. I have to allow those in again, without the NEED for the relationship. Tricky stuff.

I write this here because it feels good for me to do so (and I know that following my “feel good” is the way to aligning with my true self!) I intend that readers who are drawn to read my words will find benefit from it. While I am a person who helps others with tools and tips for living a more positive, joyful life, I am having a challenge being joyful about this break-up. It’s not what I want, so I’m determined to use the tools that I know to get myself into a “feel better” place as I go through this. I am intending that I’ll get so good at appreciating this contrast of breaking up, that I can love him and myself by “allowing” the break-up: no need, no attachment to outcome, and whether we reconcile won’t matter anymore because divine love will be what I feel and appreciate in this situation. In other words, if I see myself, him and our relationship as God or Source sees us, then I’ve paved the way to seeing us as we truly are: magnificent beings living a life that’s supposed to be fun and filled with love: with or without each other as a “couple.”

What I know will serve me is this: releasing the need for this relationship in my life, the attachment to him specifically as my “way to happiness,”  the  “need” for his love: and the more I can allow, the better I will feel! Will we get back together? Perhaps….Perhaps not…. But letting go of the attachment of our relationship as the key to my happiness IS the key to my own happiness!  I can be happy by myself, thank you!

Abraham-Hicks says that when we are so conscious of “what is” and when “what is” doesn’t feel good, it is helpful to get more generally negative about the situation to move ourselves into alignment to a better feeling place. So that’s why I’m calling this post “When Things Suck: A Glimpse Into ‘Allowing’ A Break-Up.” I’m moving my vibe more generally negative (as opposed to re-telling the specifics of what happened). So here’s my rant:

This really sucks! I hate when things suck. It sucks to feel this way. This whole situation sucks. I don’t like it at all because it sucks! Yet I’ve had other “sucky” situations before and they didn’t stay “sucky” forever. Things did get better in the past so they can get better now.  This won’t always suck. Not everything in my life sucks. In fact, many things in my life don’t suck at all! Eventually this situation will move from “sucky” to “hopeful.” I know what to do – I’ve done it before…..but right now it sucks and I’m not liking it. My future is filled with all kinds of goodies and here I sit, sad about this situation. If only I could find my way to turn this sucker around! What if I knew exactly what to do with this sucker?


LOL  Ok, that made me laugh. 🙂 There’s hope in this sucker afterall…