Editor’s Note: This post was first published almost five years ago and our relationship survived. If you’re a writer like me, you might find it helpful to go back and re-visit old posts for the insights and reminders they bring to look at a present situation in a “renewed” way.
Journey of A Spirited Strider: Finding the Positive in the Midst of Pain: When we are hurt and in pain because of a personal relationship, it may seem impossible to see the positive of our situation. After time, we…
I’ve just completed another video that’s meant to be playful, fun and free. It’s called “Your Emotional Grid,” based on Abraham-Hicks’ recent concepts of creating grids in deliberate creation. You use a grid when you want to get at the essence of what you desire, focusing on the general feeling place, not necessarily the specifics. If you get specific and it doesn’t feel good, then it’s time to go general and do some grid work.
I have been using the grid by focusing on good feelings and sitting with them. This video focused on my feelings of playful, free and beautiful. Those were the feelings I had when making it, so that’s my story today and I’m sticking to it! 🙂
When we get into a good feeling place, that’s the time to “milk it!” Using Abraham-Hicks’ concept and practice of focusing on pure thought in increments of 17 seconds for faster manifesting, this video was intended as a tool to be used to get in that good feeling place everyday, 17 seconds at a time.
Hope you enJOY it and use it a lot! 🙂
Your Emotional Grid
In Doreen Virtues’ Angel Numbers 101 book, she writes, “Since angels give you guidance with respect to every area of your life, as your read the meaning of number sequences, notice your inner dialogue, as well as your thoughts, visions and feelings, because this is how your angels personalize their messages. So while you’re absorbing the general meaning of a number sequence, your angels will whisper exactly how that message applies to you.”
For well over two years now, I have been seeing the numbers 1, 11, 111, and 1111 consistently. I’ve also seen the same sequences with 2’s, 3’s and 4’s, but more 1 combinations than anything else. It has gotten to be so regular that I now say to myself “Of course!” and smile.
All of this prompted me to buy Doreen’s book from which I referenced in the above paragraph. I recently created a Pinterest board with the statement “I am,” based on what I’ve studied and learned about the power of “I am” statements and more recently, what Wayne Dyer wrote about in his newest book, Wishes Fulfilled: Mastering the Art of Manifesting. When I looked today at my board, I saw it had 111 followers and that was my inspiration for this post.
According to Doreen’s book, here is what it all means:
1: “Stay positive. Everything you are thinking about right now is coming true, so be sure that you’re only thinking about what you desire. Give any fears to God and the angels.”
11: “Stay positive! Your thoughts are materializing rapidly, so you want to ensure positive outcomes by focusing only on the good within yourself, others and this situation.”
111: “This number brings you the urgent message that your thoughts are manifesting instantly, so keep your mind-set focused on your desires. Give any fearful thoughts to Heaven for transmutation.”
1111: She says to break it up into sequences, so it could be 1 and 111 (or) 11 and 11. Either way, it works for me!
I get these “1” variation messages almost daily and sometimes more than once a day. I now use it as a reminder to do a “check” with what I’m thinking and vibrating and to focus positively on my desires, dropping all my fears and doubts and letting a hot air balloon take them away to Heaven. It’s a nice image for me that helps me focus.
Even if you don’t “believe” in these message or in the angels, I like to think that the reminder is a good one to creating a life of your dreams. And guess what? There are days in my world when instant manifestation DOES occur! I think about something and less than 5 minutes later, there’s a message, a phone call, an unexpected visit, an unexpected letter, or the conversation turns to that subject (not initiated by me). And I smile, thanking my angels for the reminder to keep my thoughts in check.
So I ask you today what are you creating? What are you thinking and feeling? Are you paying attention to your thoughts and feelings? I am! I invite you to join me in creating an “I am” board on Pinterest. It’s a wonderful way to visualize and remind ourselves of staying positively focused on our dreams. To learn more about the power of “I am” statements, check out my “I am” store on the tab above in this blog. Who knows – maybe you’ll begin seeing all sorts of variations of the number 1, too!
And I as wrap this post up, I look up to save it and my computer reads: 11:11 PM! What else?
The past few weeks, the “Mega Millions” lotto game jackpot continued to rise to last night’s $640 million dollars- the highest ever in the world. The excitement in the past week across the nation made headlines, national TV stories, and people everywhere were talking about how their lives would change if they won the jackpot.
Last night, as I went to buy a ticket with my own numbers at a local deli, I was struck by the energy of the people around me. People were smiling, laughing and conversing with one another. I heard things like, “Everyone has to have a dream,” “Visualize,” “I’m going to spread the wealth with everyone,” and “You gotta be in it to win it!” One guy joked to his friend while I was completing my card, “Use HER numbers.” LOL I left that deli, giggling and smiling and everyone around me was doing the same. The energy that was flowing was one of joy, anticipated excitement, and fun. Everyone was in a great mood, with an excited anticipation about great things to come and sharing personal details with complete strangers. What a great feeling!
Want more abundance in your life? Cultivate good feelings like that! When you focus on these high vibing positive emotions and use your imagination, examples of abundance will show up in your life. The exact “feel good” emotion might be different for everyone, but if it feels really great to you, that’s the way to aligning with the energy and to attracting more “good stuff” into your life. Whether abundance shows up as winning the “Mega Millions” jackpot, attracting a new friend, getting a promotion at your job, entering or strengthening a great relationship, success in your career, a diagnosis of great health, or even finding a penny in the parking lot, celebrating and appreciating the feeling you believe you’ll have if you were to win the lottery jackpot (or whatever else it is your heart desires) is the key to attracting more abundance in your life.
“Mega” means enormous or huge. I thought to myself, “Isn’t this great how we’re all exercising our imagination with MEGA feelings and thoughts that can only bring more good things? Wouldn’t it be nice if we put the “Mega” into our million moments everyday? Just imagine where we’d be and how we’d all feel! It’s world-changing in MEGA ways!”
So to the millions who didn’t “win” last night’s jackpot, I’d like to suggest we all continue with this line of thinking and feeling. While I’m not suggesting that we regularly play the lotto, I am certain that if we celebrate and genuinely feel good about the people who’ve won in Maryland, Kansas and Illinois, we’ll be attracting more abundance into our lives. (So if you’re feeling jealous or judgmental about the winners, now is the time to get your feelings in check.) While you’re at it, celebrate what is going right for you right NOW. Find ways to appreciate things and make it a daily habit. You can start by appreciating that you were “in it to win it.”
Practice these habits throughout your MEGA millions of moments everyday and you’ll see MEGA results! After all, we’re all winners when we play the “MEGA millions of moments appreciation game!”
I have a nice 3-day weekend from my day job and took advantage of the opportunity to schedule one of my “Giggle Fest & Manifest!” calls during the daytime hours (instead of night). Attendance “live” on the calls has been spotty lately. I guess that people are not seeing the value of laughing on purpose – for no reason other than to get happy.
For some time now, I have been on a de-cluttering mission. It is part of my personal self-development and my expansion as a creative soul. I’ve studied the psychology of it and started a private Facebook group about it. As you can see from this blog and my website, I also came cross a wonderful coach, Sue Rasmussen, and she has really made a difference in my life. (You can learn more about Sue by looking at the “Clearing Clutter” tab at the top of this blog.)
Sue has a monthly “Clear Out” day as part of her Streamline Your Success program. My work schedule rarely allows me time to participate “live,” but I do get the recordings to listen to later and do at my own pace. So this weekend, I worked on the call from October (now THAT’s a sign I have too much “time clutter!”) October’s focus was on the bathroom, linen closet, master bedroom and guest room.
I knew going into it that I wouldn’t get to the second bedroom, or finish the master bedroom either and that was fine with me. I just needed to get started and I did make significant progress. My energy feels so much lighter now that my bathroom and linen closet have a lot of extra space. I threw away things that absolutely didn’t delight me: expired over-the-counter items were especially pleasing to get rid of. People who know me, know that I rarely use the items anyway.
I’ve now got a basket full of toiletries to give away to people at work. I started that practice a couple of years ago, where I bring in things and quietly put them in a basket on the window sill of the women’s bathroom. People clear that out in a heartbeat!
I’ve also some things packed up to give to charity. With a pick-up scheduled in a few weeks, it will give me a chance to go through more things between now and then. Although Sue recommends you take the items to your car or to the charity right away on a “Clear Out Day,” it feels ok with me to take it out of the bedroom and set it out of the way until pick-up day.
“Tolerations” are things you put up with, but that drain your energy. In physical terms, they could be seemingly little things, but that have a huge effect on your psyche. (Examples: missing buttons, lightbulb burnt out, broken items you’ve been meaning to repair, etc.) The things in that charity donation bag were “tolerations” to a certain extent: I had been meaning to either sell them or donate them, but they hung around for months because I never “got around to it.” Knowing that they’re now temporarily occupying another space until a specific date doesn’t feel like a “toleration.” Had I not had the opportunity to live in a place where some charities come to your home for pick-up items, it would turn into a “toleration” as I’d probably never “get around to it.”
With all that clearing of space, my energy is feeling wonderful and open to new possibilities. I’m excited for the changes that are coming and particularly as it relates to my bedroom space. Perhaps the biggest clearing path for abundant blessings I cleared was my broken bed. I’ve been putting off dealing with it, as I have other places to sleep, but this broken bed had become a HUGE “toleration” for me. And I believe I got to the point with myself where I’d had enough of putting up with it!
You could say I got fed up with it! So yes, I decided this week that I wanted my bedroom back! First, I worked on fixing the bed frame, only to discover that it broke again as soon as I laid down on it! So I dis-assembled the thing and took it to the garbage, while ordering another frame online. It should come this week and I can’t wait to have my bedroom back!
After going through all of these emotions and feelings with the energy that I allowed to leave my home and the new spacious energy that replaced it, I find it interesting that my bedroom was an area where I had a huge toleration going on, given my recent relationship challenges. I know that by clearing the physical clutter and this toleration I am really paying more attention to my own self-care. And in doing so, I’m loving myself and that only means one thing: I attract more love to me!
Last month, I asked a “Question” on Facebook designed for deliberate creators. The question was this:
“The fastest way to get what we want is to appreciate where we are right now. What contrast (something you don’t want) is the most challenging for you to appreciate?”
The choices were:
I was surprised by the “results.” Granted, only a dozen people answered my question but the responses are quite revealing: HALF of the responses said that WORLD EVENTS were the most challenging “contrast,” with HEALTH and MONEY tied with 1/4 each of the votes and RELATIONSHIPS with ZERO (0) votes!
I personally checked HEALTH because I find it to be the most challenging for me to divert my attention from when I’m sick or my body aches. If what I hear from people or read out there is any indication of how people feel, I was surprised that RELATIONSHIPS didn’t score any votes. MONEY is often a very common one, and I did expect that to have more votes. Of course, one could argue that what I’m “seeing” out there is a reflection of what I’m attracting, so I’m not going to elaborate on that.
Still, WORLD EVENTS coming in as the #1 most challenging? The good news is that’s easy to shift to a better feeling place. I personally read internet stories where GOOD NEWS is reported. It helps to put a perspective on what’s really going on around the world, as opposed to the overwhelming majority of negative coverage we see, read and hear everyday in the mass media.
Natural disasters happen and it seems like wars are always going on somewhere, but letting that determine whether I have a good day or a challenging day is not my cup of tea! Perhaps people are telling the story of “The economy is bad,” too. I watch that coverage from an “observer’s” point of view- IF I watch it at all! If it doesn’t feel good, I don’t watch or tune in. It’s all speculation and I’d rather speculate that things are improving, that there are many people thriving, that we’ve gotten out of situations like this before and we’ll do it again!
In fact, I’d suggest that people who are bothered by the contrast of world events turn off the TV and focus on something that feels better! And if sending in your donation to provide relief for someone who is less fortunate than you feels good, be appreciative that you are feeling good, celebrate the abundance in your life that makes your donation possible and send it in! Don’t dwell on the “details” of how bad it must be for the victims. No amount of you feeling bad will improve the situation for them. In fact, law of attraction will bring more “feeling bad” to YOU if you focus too long on that!
Unless you’re right smack in the middle of some awful world event, or you have a loved one who is, it seems to me that “World Events’ contrast” is the easiest “contrast” for deliberate creators to control. You’re not personally living it now, and you can control how much attention you give it by flipping the channel, turning off the set, and focusing on something that feels good instead.
While it doesn’t matter what I think or feel about this, I would be interested in hearing your comments. If you didn’t vote before in my “poll,” feel free to add your comment here (or) go to my Facebook page and vote. My Facebook Page You can find the “poll” on the left by clicking on “Questions.”
Irregardless of which contrast is the most “challenging” for us individually, we all know that appreciating the contrast is a useful tool in deliberate creation. So why not appreciate that we have so many types of contrast in our lives which allow us to fine-tune our desires and expand in beautiful, exciting ways?
Remember: With contrast comes expansion and often it takes a very creative form in our manifestations that we never before dreamed possible: if we allow it, that is. So pay attention to your contrast and if it’s bringing you down because you’ve got the whole world on your shoulders, take that globe off! See if you can find ways to shift how you’re feeling about it by choosing something different. It may be as easy as changing the channel on the remote!
Yet we’re human, and neither of us is seeing each other as God would see us right now and I’m certainly not seeing myself as Source sees me. When things don’t go the way we want them to in a relationship, (which recently happened in our case), it’s easy to place blame, point fingers at the other person, throw out accusations about how the other person didn’t act the way you wanted them to act, and judge. We judge our partner and each other. We judge ourselves. That is not a loving place to be in, yet why do we continually do this to ourselves? Why do we set ourselves up for disappointment by making what our partner does or doesn’t do, says or doesn’t say, the object of our happiness?– Can someone say “attachment” anyone?
We set ourselves up for disappointment by buying into that “ideal relationship” that many parts of society paint (or at least the part of our head or heart that imagines the ‘ideal’ relationship) and what happens? –The other person always disappoints. They disappoint because we can’t control other people: we can only control ourselves. They disappoint because we are different individuals who see and feel things in our own unique ways.
No one person is like you in every way! If I were involved with a guy who was exactly the same as me, I’d probably get bored really fast! So why would I expect someone else to act, be and approach the world in the same way as me? I don’t. Yet, in relationships with a partner, we often do expect the other person to react the same as we would!
Differences can be a good thing: they keep us growing, expanding and exploring this beautiful world in which we live. So if you’re complaining that your partner doesn’t see things your way, be glad that you’ve got someone in your life who contributes to your personal growth expansion by providing you with another point of view! I’m very appreciative of this man in my life: he has enriched my life in so many ways, and often because of our differences.
Yet appreciating those differences can be a challenge during a “break-up,” “a fight” or otherwise while not understanding each other so well. It’s the differences in how we react to day-to-day things that often start disagreements and arguments in relationships. When that happens, things can really suck! We can spiral into a series of accusations, judgments, arguments and may use hurtful words. Then we run off to talk to our best friend and re-tell the story, over and over again, igniting the fire of the hurt, blame, judgment and sadness feelings even more. Now we’re really on a downward spiral, because we keep telling the story over and over again. And if you’re not one to talk to others, you probably have re-told the story over and over again in your mind, so your heart definitely feels it.
I’m reminded now of my all-time favorite quote from Abraham-Hicks: “My happiness depends upon me, so you’re off the hook!” I love that quote and I know in my soul that it’s true. I am in charge of my own happiness. I get to choose. I choose to appreciate this contrast (the break-up that I don’t want) and use this situation to align with my inner being and have the best year yet!
Yet right now, my relationship with the one that I love very much sucks. Yes, it sucks! It sucks because I disappointed him, and then he disappointed me and now it apparently is over. You see? We both bought into that “You have to do ________(Fill in the blanks) to make me happy” mentality. In fact, because I didn’t do ________, he wasn’t happy with me and because he didn’t respond to me like __________, after I explained why I didn’t do _________ when he wanted me to ________, I wasn’t happy with him.
See how ridiculously funny this is? Haha! Seeing it as a “fill in the blank” exercise illustrates just how silly we are to think we can control someone else. I can laugh about this but the truth is I miss him. I miss him because in our relationship, the love that flowed brought out the best in me: fun, caring, kind, loving, passionate, silly, playful, engaging, creative, inspiring, present and connected. That is worth appreciating.
Yet I’m not feeling that way about me right now. Can someone say “attachment” again, please? I have to “allow” me to be ME: all those qualities that our love brought up in ME. I have to allow those in again, without the NEED for the relationship. Tricky stuff.
I write this here because it feels good for me to do so (and I know that following my “feel good” is the way to aligning with my true self!) I intend that readers who are drawn to read my words will find benefit from it. While I am a person who helps others with tools and tips for living a more positive, joyful life, I am having a challenge being joyful about this break-up. It’s not what I want, so I’m determined to use the tools that I know to get myself into a “feel better” place as I go through this. I am intending that I’ll get so good at appreciating this contrast of breaking up, that I can love him and myself by “allowing” the break-up: no need, no attachment to outcome, and whether we reconcile won’t matter anymore because divine love will be what I feel and appreciate in this situation. In other words, if I see myself, him and our relationship as God or Source sees us, then I’ve paved the way to seeing us as we truly are: magnificent beings living a life that’s supposed to be fun and filled with love: with or without each other as a “couple.”
What I know will serve me is this: releasing the need for this relationship in my life, the attachment to him specifically as my “way to happiness,” the “need” for his love: and the more I can allow, the better I will feel! Will we get back together? Perhaps….Perhaps not…. But letting go of the attachment of our relationship as the key to my happiness IS the key to my own happiness! I can be happy by myself, thank you!
Abraham-Hicks says that when we are so conscious of “what is” and when “what is” doesn’t feel good, it is helpful to get more generally negative about the situation to move ourselves into alignment to a better feeling place. So that’s why I’m calling this post “When Things Suck: A Glimpse Into ‘Allowing’ A Break-Up.” I’m moving my vibe more generally negative (as opposed to re-telling the specifics of what happened). So here’s my rant:
This really sucks! I hate when things suck. It sucks to feel this way.